I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
