I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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