I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
