I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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