Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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