No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
