the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
