Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize