I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Randomize
