Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
