Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize