Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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