He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
