you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
