You're earring is so big in my mouth
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
