Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
