I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Randomize
