why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
