Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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