Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
