I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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