Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
