So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
