Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
