how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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