no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
