we have officially lost it.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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