Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
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