Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize