I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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