He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
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