So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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