I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
