I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
