what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
