He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
