forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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