apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
