New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
