i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I need to stop coming to work sober
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
