Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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