Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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