there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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