when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
