I want to walk on stilts...naked
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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