Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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