We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
