Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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