PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
