I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
