That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
