Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize