part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize