No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
