Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
