i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
