shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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