Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
