dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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