Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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