I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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