We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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