I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
