I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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