i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
