no, he came in my armpit
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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