Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
